Fifth Grade Writing Prompt

Benjamin had a writing assignment, which he had to answer as a letter to the principal. The question: should 5th grade students be allowed to have cell phones in class? Here's his answer with his spelling and grammar (who said geniuses have to have perfect spelling anyway?).

Dear,
     princeable

          I think that 5th grades shouldn't have cellphones in class because they wouldn't pay attention. Exsamples of what they would do include, looking at the time, checking emale, playing a game, texting a freind, or looking up baby bunny pictures during class! They might leave it in their backpack and, during a test, disrupt the class because someone called them or, use it to cheat on the test! But, lots of fithgraders don't like school so, they wouldn't pay a speck of attention and, they have a cellphone so they can spend the whole day online! That is why I think fith graders shouldn't have cellphones in class.

                              sencerly, Benjamin

Schoolwork

School has been in session for 3 weeks now. I'm glad I check my kids' work, because it makes me laugh.

Samuel showed me a returned test he did really well on, scoring 27/30. One of the points he missed answered this question:
"How might a geographer divide up the earth to study and why?"
He wrote, "A geographer might divide the earth into longitude and latitude to study because he has a test on it."

He made a snarky comment on a test!


Lisy waited too long to do homework. Her Ritalin had worn off. She asked me to help her focus, which I cannot do for her but wish I could. I did try to encourage her while I folded towels and then made dinner. Her assignment was to put her spelling words in sentences. Let's say I began to feel a little frustrated after awhile:

She'd better finish her homework.
You haven't finished your homework?!
Shouldn't you be doing your homework?

It's like she took the words right out of my mouth and placed them on the paper. Sigh.


Benjamin's spelling sentences were more amusing (and less embarrassing for me):

Eating cacti is very unpleasant.
Having superpowers can enable you to break your feet.
Because of your long and boring speech, I'm uninspired.
You kissing a warthog is unlikely and disturbing.
People that are spoiled are always unsatisfied.
            (Dominic and I find this last one very profound.)

Close, but not quite

Elisa was playing with her toy snake (prize from the dentist). "My snake is a veterinarian. It only eats plants."
"Your snake is a vegetarian?" I tried to clarify, but she didn't notice and kept on playing. So I guess it eats its vegetables while caring for other animals?

"We're going to turts! I love turts," said Makayla.
"Really? We're going to turts?" said Dad.
"No, Daddy, we're going to turts, not turts," said Makayla.
"Turts?" asked Dad.
"Turts!" said Makayla.
"Turts?"
"Turts!"
And they continued like this for 5 minutes, all the way to church.

Making grilled cheese sandwiches with deli meat, I asked Benjamin if he wanted ham or turkey or both. Dominic said, "Hammer turkey? Watch out Benjamin, Mom's going to hammer you with a turkey."

Benjamin's Imagination

You've heard of Medusa, who turned people to stone? Benjamin kept running away from his sisters, who he called "Me-goose-a's" because, he said, they turned people into stone statues of geese. Makayla really got into the game. She chased him around with lots of giggles.

Oh no! Someone looked into the eyes of Megoosa!

Tonight was Benjamin's turn to teach the lesson for Family Home Evening. He said beforehand that he had it all figured out and didn't need any help. I was very curious to see what he would present to us.

Benjamin started by asking Samuel to read a scripture about salt, specifically D&C 101:39-40: "When men are called unto mine everlasting gospel, and covenant with an everlasting covenant, they are accounted as the salt of the earth and the savor of men." He talked a little about how we are the salt of the earth. Then he segued by saying salt is a crystal, like diamonds. Before baptism we are like an uncut diamond. After we get baptized we start getting refined until we look like a beautifully cut diamond.

Microscopic view of salt crystals

An uncut diamond next to a cut diamond

Wow. He is very creative. Plus, he came up with the analogy all by himself.

Kid's speech 2

Benjamin couldn't say "thank you" for a very long time. It sounded more like "nay-noo." Now we tell eachother "nay-noo" when we're feeling silly.

Rachel is such a girl. She loves princesses, fairies, and mermaids. The r's turn into w's of course, such as pwincesses and faiwies. The one that surprises me the most is how mermaids sounds like worm-aids. I have corrected her time and again, yet I know I'll miss it when she stops.

Makayla loves piggy back rides down the stairs and calls for "higgy back!" or even just "higgy!" Dominic caught me asking her if she wanted a higgy back ride the other day. I didn't even realize I said it.

Rachel feeds her goldfish fish flakes and algae pellets, but she can't remember the word algae. Instead, she feeds her fish allergy pellets.

Driving on a foggy day Makayla said, "The frog is creeping me out."
"You mean the fog?" I clarified.
"Yeah, I can't see through the frog," she complained.

They Think They're Comedians

The boys try hard to get a laugh. Benjamin prepped me by saying, "Don't take this literally, Mom." Now I'm feeling apprehensive. "Roses are red, that balloon is blue, my legs are tired, I'm going to sit on you." He was proud of himself for that one. Ha ha ha.

Samuel works harder on making funny situational comments. I left my chair, and he sat in the same spot. He found a long, blonde hair. "Mom, I found your hair," he said as he held up a strand of my hair. "Do you want it back?" he asked sincerely. When I replied in the negative, his serious demeaner cracked. He laughed and laughed. At least he finds himself hilarious.

The power of suggestion on imagination

Elisa, at 7 years old, likess to talk about her imaginary world: Princess Land. She can talk on and on about who lives there, what they wear, random sounds that are actual words there, and the various rules governing the place. Of course none of it is realistic, but she loves to imagine how different it is.

The other day Benjamin had a little fun. I doubt he was trying to pester her, but it did. "What if zombies invade Princess Land?" he asked.

"No. There are no zombies in Princess Land," Lisy replied.

"But they found a way in. Then they started attacking and infecting everyone," he continued.

"Arg!" she exclaimed. "There are zombies in Princess Land! I didn't want any zombies in Princess Land!"

I tried to help, "It's okay, sweety. It's your imaginary land. Zombies don't have to be there if you don't want them there," I encouraged.

"It won't work, Mom. Ben said it and now that's all I can think about," she complained. "The zombies are in Princess Land and they're attacking the princesses."

Oh, Benjamin had fun with that.

Zombies

Makayla is still adjusting to life as the only one home while everyone else goes to school. On the first day of school, she got herself dressed, put on her shoes, and found a play backpack. She started marching out the door with the others. When Daddy said "no, you still get to stay home," Makayla sat down and cried. Poor child. Plus, a mommy recovering from surgery is not the best playmate for an active and imaginative 3-year-old.

Throughout the day she has come to me talking about zombies invading our home or trying to eat her brains. She found a kindred spirit in Benjamin this afternoon. They are battling zombies with baseball bats and imaginary swords and ... my hair brush. Makayla occasionally puts down her weapons when she's dying or zombified. I "heal" her and off she goes, back into the fray. Benjamin doesn't die as often as he used to. I guess his increased experience has improved his zombie fighting skills.

After I healed her from one death, she asked for her imaginary sword back. I obligingly returned it to her. Then she asked for my brush back. "Is it another sword?" I asked.

Her face held a strange expression as she said, "No, it's a brush, for brushing my hair." Then she started brushing her hair. She is such a girl that good-looking hair is important in the middle of a zombie apocalypse.

Car game

Dominic: "What has ears but can't hear?"
Kids in unison: "Corn!"
Dominic: "What has eyes but can't see?"
Benjamin: "Blind people!"
Dominic: "Well, yeah, but I was thinking of potatoes."
Benjamin: "But blind people makes more sense. I mean, potatoes can't even blink."

Canyon County Fair

Summer time is fair time. We got coupons for free admission to our county fair. Score!

Dominic liked petting the calves, or little moos as we call them, the most. Yep, he's the reason we visit the fair every year.

The vendors and exhibitors hall is always a favorite. Each stall has a bowl of candy. My kids basically run from one candy bowl to the next. By the time we left the hall, they were a bit hyper.

Benjamin liked the rabbit area best. He kept pointing out the rabbits that looked like our brown, floppy-earred Freya. She died a couple of months ago, so each reminder made him sad. He also liked to point out the gray Netherland dwarf bunnies like our own little Isis. The only way to get the kids out of there was to remind them that they could play with our bunny at any time. 

Elisa enjoyed the reptile show best. She kept raising her hand to pet the snakes, alligator, or giant snapping turtles, but unfortunately was never chosen. Rachel hid behind the bleachers.

Samuel walked past a magician, who recruited him to help with a card trick. The guy borrowed Samuel's hat, where the correct card suddenly appeared. Samuel gasped in delight.


Every year they have an ag tent. We spend a lot of time there. The tent had a model cow, and people could "milk" the cow. All 3 girls enjoyed it.  They spent a lot of time milking that cow. I had to keep herding them away so other children could have a chance, too. At one point Makayla broke the udder. It gushed water until the person in charge could fix it. She immediately started milking the cow again. Maybe we should get a dairy cow ... or not. I'm sure it would quickly turn into an unwelcome chore.

The tent also had hand-cranked wheat grinders. Apparently, every Idahoan would have to eat 221 slices of bread every day if we kept all the wheat we harvested in the state. The display had a bucket of wheat grain, a bucket of flour, and 8 wheat grinders. The kids had a blast grinding the wheat. Even Benjamin got into it for awhile. What really surprised me was Rachel's reaction. I was pulling her away so we could go eat dinner. With one hand holding mine and the other hand still turning the crank, she begged, "I want a wheat grinder for my birthday!" Her birthday is in 10 months.

Pool games

I don't often get in the pool with the kids, but they love it when I do. The last time I went swimming with the kids, Makayla said, "Let's play harks and minnows. I a hark." She put up her hands, waded towards me, and sang the Jaws theme song, "Na, na. Na, na. Na, na."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Benjamin came in, soaking wet and crying. "What's wrong?" I asked.
"They're playing marco-polo," he wept.
"Okaaay. Why is that bad?" I asked.
"Because they kept saying 'marco!' " he bemoaned.
"Uh-huh. Why are you so upset?" I pressed.
"You just don't get it! I keep asking them, 'What is marco-polo,' and they just say, 'marco, marco, marco, polo!' "
"But that's how you play it," I explained, trying not to laugh at his indignity. Then I told him how it's like hide-and-go-seek in water. He calmed down, but sulked into his room. Poor kid. I guess some things aren't intuitional.

Meep

Samuel's new thing is saying, "Meep" a lot. He says it in answer to questions, when the conversation dies down, or any time that strikes his fancy.

Just now Benjamin walked into the kitchen to get some juice. Samuel was standing in the way and said, "Meep," when his brother tried to go around him.

Benjamin reached for the juice anyway and replied, "I don't think that word means what you think it means."

Brotherly love?

Benjamin came to me while I was in the kitchen making dinner and Samuel was on the couch in the living room. 

"There are 3 things I like and 3 things I don't like about Sammy being a bookworm," he said. "The things I don't like are:
"1. He doesn't want to go outside.
"2. He doesn't want to play with me.
"3. He doesn't want to talk to me."
(Samuel's rebuttal: "That's because he always wants to talk and play at night when we're in bed, and I'm reading to help myself fall asleep!")

"The things I like about Sammy being a bookworm are:
"1. He's too busy reading to notice that I'm playing with his sticky hand. (Sam: "Hey.")
"2. He's too busy to notice that I'm playing with his stuffed animals. (Sam: "Hey!")
"3. He doesn't see me take the toys off his bed." (Sam: "HEY!")

Benjamin (L) and Samuel (R) showing off the awards they received at the school's annual awards ceremony.

Kids' Speech

I love kid-speak! It's very cute to me how Makayla says gingky for stinky. Our neighbor's daughter calls hamburgers hamgurbers. When Lisy was telling me about her adoreable freckles the other day, she actually said a-doe-able fweckles.

As a toddler Samuel couldn't make the s sound. He called himself Yammy, earning him the nickname Sammy Yammy. And Dominic had a blast when Samuel substituted his j's with d's, often asking him to say jam and jam-nation.

Speaking of replacing letters with ds, my older brother would get out of the bath and say that his dingers were dinkled (translation: fingers are wrinkled). We still chuckle about how my nephew Spencer used to call himself Der-Der.

Benjamin called Fruit Loops cereal Oot Oops, a term we still use. At the grocery store recently I said, "Let's get Oot Oops," and then put Fruit Loops in the cart. Lisy is a great reader and said, "That's not Oot Oops. It says Fruit Loops." She was upset that I had grabbed the wrong cereal.

The other day Makayla asked for a lolli-hop. I thought it was so funny that I kept saying lolli-hop, too. She corrected me saying, "No Mommy, lolli-hop." (Hee hee hee) She used to call her older sister Waychel but now says Baychel. Rachel even answers when we call for Baychel.

I love it.

My son, the poet

Benjamin is such a ham. Tonight at dinner he came up with this gem for Lisy:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Give me all your money,
Because I'm robbing you.

"Help! The fridge is eating me!!"

What will they think of next?

"I have an ear here," Elisa said as she raised her arm and pointed at her armpit.

"You have an ear in your armpit?!" I asked incredulously.

"Yes," she said matter-of-factly.

Dominic called from the kitchen, "You mean you don't?" Very funny, dear, I thought but didn't say.

Then Benjamin ran up to Elisa, lifted her arm, and screamed into her armpit.

Made-up Lyrics

If you haven't heard it yet, there's a popular song that says, "What does the fox say? Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!" Tonight Lisy came up to me singing, "What does the mom say? No-no-no-no-no-no-no!"

Benjamin used to replace random words in a song with condiments. Ketchup and mustard were his most often used substitutions. For example: "I am a child of ketchup, and he has sent me mustard." He doesn't sing this way anymore, but he still likes to surprise us with it occassionally.

Rachel loves Frozen and all the songs on it, "Let it Go" being one of her favorites. The other day we were playing outside in the garden. Instead of singing, "Let it go, let it go ... the cold never bothered me anyway," she replaced it with, "Let it grow, let it grow* ... the flowers never made me sneeze."

*Correction: When I read this post to Rachel, she corrected me. She actually sings "Let it bloom..." Oops.

Don't beep the nose!

When Samuel was a baby, he would stick out his tongue when we tapped his nose and say, "beep." It became a thing with all the babies and has persisted as the kids have grown. They like to beep my nose, too.

During family home evening we were discussing the ancient apostles after Christ's ascension. I asked a tricky question, and Benjamin got it. "Beep beep beep! That's right!" I said, as I stretched my arm out and pretended to tap his nose.

"Here, I'll beep him for you," offered Dominic, who was sitting next to him.

As soon as Dominic tapped his nose, Benjamin said in a robotic monotone, "You have activated the self-destruct button."

Q and A

Benjamin: "Samuel, I have a question."
Samuel: "I have an answer. Let's see if they match."
Benjamin: "What are you doing?"
Samuel: "Crazy. Oh darn, they don't match."

Toys have feelings, too

Lisy has been playing with her Princess Leia doll as if it was real. She includes it in her games, talks to it, and swears that it moves when she isn't looking. By dinnertime Benjamin had had enough when Lisy put the doll on the table.

"No toys at the table!" Benjamin loudly reminded her.

So she put the doll on a chair and gave it a handful of food, "so she doesn't get hungry. Don't look at her or she won't eat!" Lisy announced.

"Leee-seee! She is not alive!" shouted Benjamin.

Now, I've seen Benjamin read to his stuffed animals and tuck them in at night. And heaven forbid you accidentally step on one of them. I had to put a stop to this. Not to mention that shouting matches don't belong at the dinner table.

"Benjamin, leave her alone. Let her believe whatever she wants; she isn't hurting anyone. How would you feel if I told you that your stuffed animals weren't real?" I postulated to him.

*shocked gasp* Benjamin lowered his gaze and hung his head. He quietly answered, "I know they're not real. But in my heart I believe they are."

One morning the girls set up a breakfast of orange juice and biscuits for their dolls.