Parents Are Scary

The boys are old enough (10 and 11) to think they are big enough to take down their father. What they don't realize is that Dominic wrestled in high school, took Akido lessons on his mission, and is practiced in take-down procedures for work. They didn't stand a chance.

The three of them started wrestling. Dominic used some of his incapacitating moves on his sons. Benjamin wouldn't give up, or tap out, for a long time. Samuel, on the other hand, tapped out quickly. He ran and hid behind me saying, "I never knew Dad was so scary!"

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When my alarm goes off on a weekday morning, I am not in a good mood. I tend to have very negative thoughts about daytime, school, etc. One morning I was making breakfast for Dominic and Samuel after the elementary school kids (Rachel, Elisa, and Benjamin) had left for the bus. I realized that I felt much better, kinder, and happier once I fully woke up. It was a stark contrast to my initial thoughts of the day. I voiced my observations aloud. 

Dominic said, "Whoa, really?"

Samuel's laugh sounded surprised and nervous. "Note to self," he chuckled, "never wake Mom up. Send someone else in, wait 10 minutes, then talk to her!"

Close, but not quite

Elisa was playing with her toy snake (prize from the dentist). "My snake is a veterinarian. It only eats plants."
"Your snake is a vegetarian?" I tried to clarify, but she didn't notice and kept on playing. So I guess it eats its vegetables while caring for other animals?

"We're going to turts! I love turts," said Makayla.
"Really? We're going to turts?" said Dad.
"No, Daddy, we're going to turts, not turts," said Makayla.
"Turts?" asked Dad.
"Turts!" said Makayla.
"Turts?"
"Turts!"
And they continued like this for 5 minutes, all the way to church.

Making grilled cheese sandwiches with deli meat, I asked Benjamin if he wanted ham or turkey or both. Dominic said, "Hammer turkey? Watch out Benjamin, Mom's going to hammer you with a turkey."

Rachel Loves Pink

After church Rachel came up to me in tears. "My teacher didn't let me choose the pink star. She usually lets me choose the pink star sticker, but she gave me a gold star. She gave everyone a gold star."
"You know," I said, "Some people think the gold star is best."
"But I don't. I wanted the pink star! Pink is my favorite color!"

NO!

YES!

My kids usually like going to the dentist. They like getting stickers, toys, their own mini toothpaste, and even a new toothbrush. As always when we arrived home, I told them to change toothbrushes and throw away the old ones. Four of my children obeyed without any complaints. Rachel came downstairs in tears, holding her old pink toothbrush in her hands. "I don't want to throw it away," she sobbed.

"But at the dentist's office you were excited about your new toothbrush," I pointed out.

"Yeah, but I forgot that I had to throw away my pink one. Can I please keep it?" she begged.

"No, Honey, you need to use the new toothbrush. You can have a pink one the next time we change toothbrushes." Not helpful. She went back upstairs, weeping and wailing. Awhile later Rachel came back downstairs and found solace from Dad. They agreed that she will use her new toothbrush every night, and her pink toothbrush will be kept for camping trips. Dad even made her laugh.

Camping can be hot

This last weekend we went camping for Rachel's birthday. While we broke camp, we realized Makayla was missing. After a quick search Dominic found her in the van.

"What are you doing in the van?" he asked.

"Well, you see, it's like this," said Makayla. "The sun is hot and the van is colder."

Car game

Dominic: "What has ears but can't hear?"
Kids in unison: "Corn!"
Dominic: "What has eyes but can't see?"
Benjamin: "Blind people!"
Dominic: "Well, yeah, but I was thinking of potatoes."
Benjamin: "But blind people makes more sense. I mean, potatoes can't even blink."

Canyon County Fair

Summer time is fair time. We got coupons for free admission to our county fair. Score!

Dominic liked petting the calves, or little moos as we call them, the most. Yep, he's the reason we visit the fair every year.

The vendors and exhibitors hall is always a favorite. Each stall has a bowl of candy. My kids basically run from one candy bowl to the next. By the time we left the hall, they were a bit hyper.

Benjamin liked the rabbit area best. He kept pointing out the rabbits that looked like our brown, floppy-earred Freya. She died a couple of months ago, so each reminder made him sad. He also liked to point out the gray Netherland dwarf bunnies like our own little Isis. The only way to get the kids out of there was to remind them that they could play with our bunny at any time. 

Elisa enjoyed the reptile show best. She kept raising her hand to pet the snakes, alligator, or giant snapping turtles, but unfortunately was never chosen. Rachel hid behind the bleachers.

Samuel walked past a magician, who recruited him to help with a card trick. The guy borrowed Samuel's hat, where the correct card suddenly appeared. Samuel gasped in delight.


Every year they have an ag tent. We spend a lot of time there. The tent had a model cow, and people could "milk" the cow. All 3 girls enjoyed it.  They spent a lot of time milking that cow. I had to keep herding them away so other children could have a chance, too. At one point Makayla broke the udder. It gushed water until the person in charge could fix it. She immediately started milking the cow again. Maybe we should get a dairy cow ... or not. I'm sure it would quickly turn into an unwelcome chore.

The tent also had hand-cranked wheat grinders. Apparently, every Idahoan would have to eat 221 slices of bread every day if we kept all the wheat we harvested in the state. The display had a bucket of wheat grain, a bucket of flour, and 8 wheat grinders. The kids had a blast grinding the wheat. Even Benjamin got into it for awhile. What really surprised me was Rachel's reaction. I was pulling her away so we could go eat dinner. With one hand holding mine and the other hand still turning the crank, she begged, "I want a wheat grinder for my birthday!" Her birthday is in 10 months.

Family Home Evening on Animals

Elisa loves animals. A lot. She likes to hold them, pet them, and love them until they are ready to run away. When we gave her a fish for Christmas, she tried to pet it and was disappointed when Daddy told her that she can't pet fish. Our cats, guinea pig, and rabbit have bitten and scratched her when they've had enough and she didn't let go. More than once we've noticed a distressed furball and told her to "put it down. Let it go... Now leave it alone."

Tonight Lisy gave the lesson on animals and how we need to be nice to all animals. I asked, "Why do we need to take care of animals?" And she answered, "Because God created them, just like us." Very good. Then I asked, "How do we take care of animals?" She immediately said, "Leave them alone!"

Dad laughed so hard that Lisy had to take a break until he calmed down enough to continue her lesson.

What will they think of next?

"I have an ear here," Elisa said as she raised her arm and pointed at her armpit.

"You have an ear in your armpit?!" I asked incredulously.

"Yes," she said matter-of-factly.

Dominic called from the kitchen, "You mean you don't?" Very funny, dear, I thought but didn't say.

Then Benjamin ran up to Elisa, lifted her arm, and screamed into her armpit.

The Monkey Song

Makayla's nickname is Monkey. For Christmas we gave her a new bedsheet covered in monkeys with bubble gum. Dominic made up a song, which all the kids like, to get Makayla excited about her soon-to-be present. Now it's her:

Monkey Song

There's no gum where the monkeys come from
(Not even Dentyn!)
There's no gum where the monkeys come from
(They live in the jungle)
There's no gum where the monkeys come from
(They like pink :)
So when they come here they always ask you for some

Who's on your family tree?

What are your family dinner conversations like? We had another zombie discussion tonight. As a matter of fact, "No zombies at the table" and "Don't eat your brother's/sister's brain" are common phrases around here. Though I must admit that a little kid saying, "bwaaiiins," is cute. Even Makayla holds up her arms and growls "bain!"

Benjamin was the first to finish his meal and put up his plate. He came back to the table as an undead in search of brains. Elisa said, "I don't want a zombie in my family."

Dominic admonished her, "You can't choose your family. You're stuck with them, even if you don't like them."

Then Samuel quipped, "We have zombies on both sides of our family. Mom's family and Dad's family."

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Rachel keeps begging to see zombie pictures. Why? "Because they say bwains!"

Tailoring to your audience

Samuel doesn't like cheese. He avoids eating anything he thinks might have cheese in it. Benjamin, on the other hand, eats more food with cheese on it. One night last week, we had a cheesy broccoli side dish at dinner.

"Hey Benjamin," said Dominic as he set the table, "this broccoli has a cheesy sauce."

"Yay!" said Benjamin.

Then Dominic turned to Samuel. "Hey Samuel, the broccoli has a special sauce. You'll love it." Samuel just looked at him skeptically.

"But wait, there's more!"

We haven't had cable in a couple of years, but of course we got satellite to go with our new t.v. The children don't remember watching shows with commercials. So the other day Dominic and the kids were watching t.v. when an infomercial came on. Samuel got very excited about whatever was being advertised. He kept telling Dominic about all the amazing features. Then came the inevitable "but wait, there's more!" part. Sammy jumped up and excitedly said, "Dad! There's more!"

Dominic responded with, "Yes, they always say that."

Sammy, sadly, "They do? Oh."

What a sweet boy. Too bad Dad had to be the one to burst his bubble (though I'm secretly glad it wasn't me this time).

Wii facts

1. How many discs can a 3-year-old fit into the Wii gaming system? 5

2. Where can you find do-it-yourself Wii disassemble instructional videos? YouTube

3. What kind of screwdrivers will you need to disassemble the Wii? special order tri-head screwdrivers

4. How long does it take to disassemble the Wii without the tri-head screwdrivers? very long

5. Who is my hero for fixing the Wii (without the tri-head screwdriver) so I could exercise? Dominic

6. How long did above mentioned 3-year-old spend in her room in timeout? long enough to fix the Wii and then complete exercise routine*

*She didn't mind the timeout. Siblings kept visiting, and we heard a lot of laughter.

The onion

There is a town nearby that has a lot of onion farms. It is now harvest season. As we drove through the onion fields the other day, we saw quite a few onions by the side of the road, having obviously fallen off the trucks. Dominic commented that we could collect all those onions and fill up a bag.

Then from the back seat Lisy said, "I need an onion."

"Oh? What would you do with an onion?" asked Dominic.

In her sweet little voice she replied, "I will pick it up, and I will eat it, and it will be yucky (said in a disgusted voice), and I will throw it away!" she ended happily.

Dominic drives through those same fields on his commute, so when he could, he pulled over and picked one up for her. She was thrilled when she saw her onion. It was just what she wanted. I sliced off a piece and gave some to her, Rachel and Benjamin to try. Poor kids, they started out so eager as they each took a bite and then were so grossed out.

"She was right," noted Dominic."She knew exactly what would happen."

However, Lisy did not want to throw away her onion. I put it in a plastic bag for her, and she carried it around for the rest of the day.

Breakfast Conversations

This morning we had a typical breakfast. It was so funny that I kept thinking we should have been recording it somehow. And this is how.

Dominic heard the cat meowing at the door and told Benjamin to let her in. He complied while complaining, "But I don't want my milk to get soggy."

One of Lisy's birthday presents was a baking set with an oven mitt. Samuel was playing with it, and Lisy was trying to get it back. Benjamin took her side and said, "Hey, that's Lisy's oven mint!"

Lisy spilled some milk, like usual, and this time she tried picking it up with her fingers to put it back in her cereal bowl.

Lisy has a singing birthday card that goes something like, "Every girl can beee a princess..." and she plays it all the time. Dominic sang along but altered the words slightly: "Every girl can beee an aardvark." We all laughed. Then Samuel sang his unique version: "Every girl can beee a princess, if she eats an aardvark." Dominic was so proud of him.

And finally, as we were clearing off the table, I noticed a spot on Benjamin's t-shirt. "What's that on your shirt? You just put it on. It can't be dirty already."
Benjamin: "Well, it happened when I wiped up my spilled milk."
Me, trying to clarify the situation: "You used your shirt to wipe up the table?"
Benjamin: "Heheh, yeah."

I love our family meal times.

Blow darts

Yesterday morning we drove around looking at yard sales and listening to NPR's "Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!" We heard a funny story about an elderly woman who was arrested for shooting blow darts at people walking past her house. When asked why she did it, she said she liked to hear people say "Ow!"

Thus began a very silly game of all the boys (including my husband) pretending to blow darts at each other and lots of "ow's" abounding. At one point Samuel kept "shooting" darts at Benjamin, who was getting very frustrated. In a commanding voice Dominic yelled back, "Let Benjamin shoot darts at you!"

I started laughing hysterically. Dominic just looked at me and sighed, "Oh, that's gonna go on the blog."

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Oh, it gets better. Today on the way home from church the boys started "shooting" darts again, which made Rachel laugh. The "shooting" didn't last long, and Rachel began to fuss. Ever the helpful dad, Dominic called out, "You need to start shooting darts at Rachel again to make her laugh!" They did, and she did :)

Et tu?

Lisy was growling loudly in church to make Samuel laugh. Dominic sternly whispered to her to stop, whereupon she giggled at him and kept growling.

He looked up at me and said, "Ever feel like your authority is slipping?" All the time, Dear.

-MR

Like father like son

Today we went to tithing settlement. As we were sitting down and trying to get the kids settled into chairs, Benjamin bit the desk. Dominic reprimanded him, "Benjamin, don't eat the Bishop's desk."

The reason this was funny to us is because when Dominic was Benjamin's age, his family always sat in the same pew at church. He remembers biting the back of the pew in front of him. A few years ago we visited that church building, and his teeth marks are still there.

-MR