Schoolwork

School has been in session for 3 weeks now. I'm glad I check my kids' work, because it makes me laugh.

Samuel showed me a returned test he did really well on, scoring 27/30. One of the points he missed answered this question:
"How might a geographer divide up the earth to study and why?"
He wrote, "A geographer might divide the earth into longitude and latitude to study because he has a test on it."

He made a snarky comment on a test!


Lisy waited too long to do homework. Her Ritalin had worn off. She asked me to help her focus, which I cannot do for her but wish I could. I did try to encourage her while I folded towels and then made dinner. Her assignment was to put her spelling words in sentences. Let's say I began to feel a little frustrated after awhile:

She'd better finish her homework.
You haven't finished your homework?!
Shouldn't you be doing your homework?

It's like she took the words right out of my mouth and placed them on the paper. Sigh.


Benjamin's spelling sentences were more amusing (and less embarrassing for me):

Eating cacti is very unpleasant.
Having superpowers can enable you to break your feet.
Because of your long and boring speech, I'm uninspired.
You kissing a warthog is unlikely and disturbing.
People that are spoiled are always unsatisfied.
            (Dominic and I find this last one very profound.)

Parents Are Scary

The boys are old enough (10 and 11) to think they are big enough to take down their father. What they don't realize is that Dominic wrestled in high school, took Akido lessons on his mission, and is practiced in take-down procedures for work. They didn't stand a chance.

The three of them started wrestling. Dominic used some of his incapacitating moves on his sons. Benjamin wouldn't give up, or tap out, for a long time. Samuel, on the other hand, tapped out quickly. He ran and hid behind me saying, "I never knew Dad was so scary!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When my alarm goes off on a weekday morning, I am not in a good mood. I tend to have very negative thoughts about daytime, school, etc. One morning I was making breakfast for Dominic and Samuel after the elementary school kids (Rachel, Elisa, and Benjamin) had left for the bus. I realized that I felt much better, kinder, and happier once I fully woke up. It was a stark contrast to my initial thoughts of the day. I voiced my observations aloud. 

Dominic said, "Whoa, really?"

Samuel's laugh sounded surprised and nervous. "Note to self," he chuckled, "never wake Mom up. Send someone else in, wait 10 minutes, then talk to her!"

Help I Could Do Without

Makayla: "Mommy, the apple juice was low, so I added more water. Now we have lots!"

Oh no. Really? Samuel had just poured himself more juice, poor kid.

His reaction: "It takes like sour water."

Cats can't howl past 9 pm

Samuel's class learned about odd laws from around the country. They each got to choose one to write a story about how that law came about. Samuel chose a Columbus, GA law, which states that cats are not allowed to howl past 9 o'clock pm.

"One day in Columbus, Georgia, a group of reble cats got the idea of howling at 10:00 p.m. Every night it sounded like a nuke was going to hit. Everyone complained. One day the mayor got sick of it and because of the noise; went crazy. The next mayor made a law that cats can't howl after 9:00 p.m. 2 years later the cat rebelion made peace with the humans but kept the law as a cymbal of peace."

I kept his spelling and punctuation. He also drew a picture with a cat and a human shaking their paw and hand, respectively.

He has a healthy self-esteem

Samuel came home very excited. "Mom, I saw someone at school wearing a really cool shirt today! It said, 'They told me I could be anything, so I became a NINJA!' "

"Fun!" I said. "I once saw a shirt that said, 'They told me I could be anything, so I became AWESOME!' "

He was not that impressed. "Eh," he said, "I'm already awesome."

Moms make everything better

Moms fix cuts and bruises
Every summer many neighborhood kids come to my house when they get hurt. They all know I'm home and I'll stop the bleeding. So in the Spring I buy a box of 100 band-aids. They are almost all gone by Fall.

Last week Makayla bumped her knee. She kept asking me to make it better. However, I really couldn't see anything wrong with it; it certainly didn't need a band-aid. I was busy and not thinking clearly, because I didn't realize what she wanted me to do. Finally, she kissed her knee. "There, I made it all better, Mommy." Boy, I felt like I failed as a mother.

Moms cheer you up
Recently Makayla was cranky. I couldn't figure out why. She whined and cried about everything. I began making silly faces and goofy voices and tickling her. She tried to complain but couldn't hold back her smile. She started having fun despite herself. Through her giggles she pleaded, "Mommy, stop making me feel better!" Too late - you're already happier.

Tonight Samuel came downstairs an hour and a half past bedtime, complaining about a scary part in the book he's reading (Fablehaven, when Seth meets the witch Muriel, who is really creepy). "Well," I said, "stop reading. Go to sleep. In the morning when it's light, it won't be as scary."
"I know," he said meekly. "But right now I need a hug from Mom." He sat down next to me, and we hugged. We hugged until he felt ready to go back to bed.

They Think They're Comedians

The boys try hard to get a laugh. Benjamin prepped me by saying, "Don't take this literally, Mom." Now I'm feeling apprehensive. "Roses are red, that balloon is blue, my legs are tired, I'm going to sit on you." He was proud of himself for that one. Ha ha ha.

Samuel works harder on making funny situational comments. I left my chair, and he sat in the same spot. He found a long, blonde hair. "Mom, I found your hair," he said as he held up a strand of my hair. "Do you want it back?" he asked sincerely. When I replied in the negative, his serious demeaner cracked. He laughed and laughed. At least he finds himself hilarious.

Canyon County Fair

Summer time is fair time. We got coupons for free admission to our county fair. Score!

Dominic liked petting the calves, or little moos as we call them, the most. Yep, he's the reason we visit the fair every year.

The vendors and exhibitors hall is always a favorite. Each stall has a bowl of candy. My kids basically run from one candy bowl to the next. By the time we left the hall, they were a bit hyper.

Benjamin liked the rabbit area best. He kept pointing out the rabbits that looked like our brown, floppy-earred Freya. She died a couple of months ago, so each reminder made him sad. He also liked to point out the gray Netherland dwarf bunnies like our own little Isis. The only way to get the kids out of there was to remind them that they could play with our bunny at any time. 

Elisa enjoyed the reptile show best. She kept raising her hand to pet the snakes, alligator, or giant snapping turtles, but unfortunately was never chosen. Rachel hid behind the bleachers.

Samuel walked past a magician, who recruited him to help with a card trick. The guy borrowed Samuel's hat, where the correct card suddenly appeared. Samuel gasped in delight.


Every year they have an ag tent. We spend a lot of time there. The tent had a model cow, and people could "milk" the cow. All 3 girls enjoyed it.  They spent a lot of time milking that cow. I had to keep herding them away so other children could have a chance, too. At one point Makayla broke the udder. It gushed water until the person in charge could fix it. She immediately started milking the cow again. Maybe we should get a dairy cow ... or not. I'm sure it would quickly turn into an unwelcome chore.

The tent also had hand-cranked wheat grinders. Apparently, every Idahoan would have to eat 221 slices of bread every day if we kept all the wheat we harvested in the state. The display had a bucket of wheat grain, a bucket of flour, and 8 wheat grinders. The kids had a blast grinding the wheat. Even Benjamin got into it for awhile. What really surprised me was Rachel's reaction. I was pulling her away so we could go eat dinner. With one hand holding mine and the other hand still turning the crank, she begged, "I want a wheat grinder for my birthday!" Her birthday is in 10 months.

Meep

Samuel's new thing is saying, "Meep" a lot. He says it in answer to questions, when the conversation dies down, or any time that strikes his fancy.

Just now Benjamin walked into the kitchen to get some juice. Samuel was standing in the way and said, "Meep," when his brother tried to go around him.

Benjamin reached for the juice anyway and replied, "I don't think that word means what you think it means."

Brotherly love?

Benjamin came to me while I was in the kitchen making dinner and Samuel was on the couch in the living room. 

"There are 3 things I like and 3 things I don't like about Sammy being a bookworm," he said. "The things I don't like are:
"1. He doesn't want to go outside.
"2. He doesn't want to play with me.
"3. He doesn't want to talk to me."
(Samuel's rebuttal: "That's because he always wants to talk and play at night when we're in bed, and I'm reading to help myself fall asleep!")

"The things I like about Sammy being a bookworm are:
"1. He's too busy reading to notice that I'm playing with his sticky hand. (Sam: "Hey.")
"2. He's too busy to notice that I'm playing with his stuffed animals. (Sam: "Hey!")
"3. He doesn't see me take the toys off his bed." (Sam: "HEY!")

Benjamin (L) and Samuel (R) showing off the awards they received at the school's annual awards ceremony.

Kids' Speech

I love kid-speak! It's very cute to me how Makayla says gingky for stinky. Our neighbor's daughter calls hamburgers hamgurbers. When Lisy was telling me about her adoreable freckles the other day, she actually said a-doe-able fweckles.

As a toddler Samuel couldn't make the s sound. He called himself Yammy, earning him the nickname Sammy Yammy. And Dominic had a blast when Samuel substituted his j's with d's, often asking him to say jam and jam-nation.

Speaking of replacing letters with ds, my older brother would get out of the bath and say that his dingers were dinkled (translation: fingers are wrinkled). We still chuckle about how my nephew Spencer used to call himself Der-Der.

Benjamin called Fruit Loops cereal Oot Oops, a term we still use. At the grocery store recently I said, "Let's get Oot Oops," and then put Fruit Loops in the cart. Lisy is a great reader and said, "That's not Oot Oops. It says Fruit Loops." She was upset that I had grabbed the wrong cereal.

The other day Makayla asked for a lolli-hop. I thought it was so funny that I kept saying lolli-hop, too. She corrected me saying, "No Mommy, lolli-hop." (Hee hee hee) She used to call her older sister Waychel but now says Baychel. Rachel even answers when we call for Baychel.

I love it.

Q and A

Benjamin: "Samuel, I have a question."
Samuel: "I have an answer. Let's see if they match."
Benjamin: "What are you doing?"
Samuel: "Crazy. Oh darn, they don't match."

Philosophical discussions of 10-year-olds

On the way home from cub scouts, Samuel, Benjamin, and their friend Oliver, started talking about planets in the "goldilocks zone:" not too close to or too far from the sun, but the perfect distance for liquid water and hopefully life.

Benjamin: Do you believe aliens really exist?
Oliver: No, I don't believe they actually exist.
Samuel, aghast: What about Spock?!
Oliver, thoughtfully: That's true...

Sweet brothers

We were all getting back into the van to head home from the park. Makayla ran towards the van in the parking lot and tripped, scraping a hand and both knees. I decided to just go home, because there wasn't much I could do for her at the park. She cried and bled the whole way. Once home (just five minutes later) I tried cleaning the scrapes. She kept pulling away and crying more. We needed help.

I called in the cavalry, a.k.a. Benjamin and Samuel. Makayla sat on Samuel's lap while he held her tightly. Benjamin held her hand and kept up a steady stream of comforting words. She quickly stopped crying. I was able to clean and bandage the scraped knees and hand without interruption. The boys were so sweet and duly sympathetic. Makayla was actually in a good mood at the end of the ordeal and happily showed off her new band-aids.

Kids can be a bit obvious

So the other day Samuel was telling me about how he started walking his friend, Rebecca, home from the bus stop. Then he told me how much he enjoys being in the same class as Rebecca this year. Then he asked when he can start dating. "Sixteen," I said. "You still have 7 more years."

"How old does a girl have to be to start dating?" he asked next.

"Sixteen."

He thought he was being subtle, because he waited a few minutes before admitting that there was a girl he liked and looked forward to dating. "Do you want to guess who it is?"

Without skipping a beat I responded, "Rebecca."

A look of amazement (and a little bit of embarrassment) crossed his face. "How did you know?!"

Who's on your family tree?

What are your family dinner conversations like? We had another zombie discussion tonight. As a matter of fact, "No zombies at the table" and "Don't eat your brother's/sister's brain" are common phrases around here. Though I must admit that a little kid saying, "bwaaiiins," is cute. Even Makayla holds up her arms and growls "bain!"

Benjamin was the first to finish his meal and put up his plate. He came back to the table as an undead in search of brains. Elisa said, "I don't want a zombie in my family."

Dominic admonished her, "You can't choose your family. You're stuck with them, even if you don't like them."

Then Samuel quipped, "We have zombies on both sides of our family. Mom's family and Dad's family."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rachel keeps begging to see zombie pictures. Why? "Because they say bwains!"

Overheard

I enjoy listening to the kids play, especially when they don't know I can hear them.

Today I heard them hold an auction. "We'll start the bidding at a quillion dollars. Who will give me a quillion?" Samuel asked. I don't know how much that is, but I think it's out of my league.

When the auctions ended, Benjamin said, "Harry Potter, I'm your identical twin. I was born yesterday and grew up fast." Even with magic, how does that work exactly? And then, how on earth did they jump from auctions to Harry Potter?

Samuel's day

Samuel usually follows instructions promptly. Today, however, we were constantly repeating ourselves to him. In frustration Dominic demanded, "How many times do I have to tell you?"

Without skipping a beat Samuel replied, "two." That response lightened the mood, and we all laughed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After finishing our dinner of Chinese take-out, Samuel wanted me to read the fortune from his cookie (I'm not sure why he wanted me to read it - he's perfectly capable of reading it himself).

" 'At this moment, someone is thinking good thoughts of you,' " I read.

Gasp. "Is that you?" he asked excitedly.

"Yes," I said. How could I say, or think, otherwise?

Tailoring to your audience

Samuel doesn't like cheese. He avoids eating anything he thinks might have cheese in it. Benjamin, on the other hand, eats more food with cheese on it. One night last week, we had a cheesy broccoli side dish at dinner.

"Hey Benjamin," said Dominic as he set the table, "this broccoli has a cheesy sauce."

"Yay!" said Benjamin.

Then Dominic turned to Samuel. "Hey Samuel, the broccoli has a special sauce. You'll love it." Samuel just looked at him skeptically.

"But wait, there's more!"

We haven't had cable in a couple of years, but of course we got satellite to go with our new t.v. The children don't remember watching shows with commercials. So the other day Dominic and the kids were watching t.v. when an infomercial came on. Samuel got very excited about whatever was being advertised. He kept telling Dominic about all the amazing features. Then came the inevitable "but wait, there's more!" part. Sammy jumped up and excitedly said, "Dad! There's more!"

Dominic responded with, "Yes, they always say that."

Sammy, sadly, "They do? Oh."

What a sweet boy. Too bad Dad had to be the one to burst his bubble (though I'm secretly glad it wasn't me this time).